"I am only a couple of years out of college.  I was an engineering major and am now studying to complete an MBA.  I work for a FORTUNE 1000 company.  My boss is a very successful woman.  She "has it all".  She is the youngest Vice President in the company, she is married, has young children and is considered a contender for the top spots in the company in the near future.  She is bright, attractive and VERY driven.  So what is the problem?  She often tells me how "cute" I am.  She comments on my attire.  And she asks for details about my relationships and what I do on weekends (when we are not in the office working).  While she has not made a "pass" at me - I am very uncomfortable with the situation.  I admire her and I want very much to advance in the company.  What should I do?

Terry H.
Seattle, Washington

Dear Terry,

Doing nothing is NOT an option.

First, I recommend file a formal report through your company's sexual harassment process.  If your company does not have one (and I imagine that it does) then consult with your Human Resources partner.  Be very specific, clear and unemotional in reporting the sexual harassment.  This may create an even more uncomfortable situation between you and your boss, but it is an essential first step.

If there continues to be no change in your boss's behavior - or your situation following the meeting with the Human Resources executive - you should then direct the complaint to the most senior executive - outside of Human Resources - that you can get an appointment with.  Follow the same steps in the meeting.  Be clear about what is happening, why it makes you uncomfortable and what you expect.

Unfortunately, your boss may get a slap on the wrists at the most.  If this is the case, be prepared to either transfer within the company or find another job.  This is the sad, but real world, truth.  It should though not deter you from doing the right thing.  If she is doing this to you, then she may have done the same to others in the past and will do the same in the future. 

George F. Franks, III is the President of Franks Consulting Group, a Bethesda, Maryland based management consulting and leadership coaching practice. He is a member of the Institute of Management Consultants (USA) and many other professional and non-profit organizations. Franks Consulting Group can be contacted at: gfranks@franksconsultinggroup.com

Franks Consulting Group is on the web at: http://franksconsultinggroup.com